Ekdum filmy, total masala - Bollywood ishtyle! ;-D

The Story

Vikram is to be stationed for his new job, in a virtually unknown place that is alien to him. Obviously for anyone who knows nothing more than Ajnala or the bigger Amritsar, Kozhikode would only mean a tongue twister.

‘Where is Kozhikode?’ Vikram asked, attempting hard to get the pronunciation right. ‘This place is in Assam’, replied Jagmeet paaji, the ‘Mr. Know-it-all’ at New Punjab Roadlines. Only he knows how right or wrong he is. Prod him more and he will probably give you the latitudes and longitudes of Kozhikode!

Vikram prefers to investigate himself. Mundu, the attendant with the Mehras for years cannot help him better. ‘Vikram – has already left for Assam… new job’, he tells everyone at home. Down comes the world for Parminder, Vikram’s mother. ‘You are responsible’ she yells looking towards OP Mehra, Vikram’s father. OP Mehra always wanted him to be the next boss of New Punjab Roadlines. Vikram’s choice of an engineering degree or job after that did not go well with him.

Everything falls silent when Vikram calmly walks in. ‘I had only been to find out about Kozhikode, - to the headmaster’s house.’ Mundu swallows hard. All the eyes in the room stare him, but he saves himself with his trademark grin. As an effort to manage a truce, OP Mehra allows Vikram to go. ‘But Mundu will also go’ he adds. Mrs. Mehra agrees.

‘Papaji, you cannot be serious’, thinks Vikram. But Mundu is happy.

‘Platform 5, S5, berth numbers 5 and 6’, Vikram whispers to Mundu as he gets off his truck. It is very hard for Vikram to keep Mundu away but a wrong coach number and a wrong platform number easily does the job! Vikram is relieved.

On the train, Vikram browses through a literature copy by Kerala Tourism Board. And all of a sudden pantry men sporting a dash of sandal on their forehead with their waysti folded up to their knees serve idli and sambar, his co-passengers have their meal on a banana leaf and some pour their coffee from a height out of a tumbler in to another and all he can hear is the sound of the mridhungam playing hard. ‘No’, Vikram lets out a huge cry. And everything returns to normal.

Kozhikode is a ‘jack-in-the-box’ for Vikram. The company driver does not turn up at the station and the rickshaw drivers swarm Vikram like bees. He does not understand what they say. Neither could they when he tries. The local phone is out of order. The railway police take his baggage after it lay unclaimed. The rains drench him and the lorry driver sloshes him with Kozhikode muck.

‘Bail out of Kozhikode as soon as possible!’ Vikram mutters.

Vikram is put up at Mrs. Batra’s residence. This Punjabi lady could yak on for hours as if it were a talkathon. She would even brave the stench from his socks to complete her story. Vikram couldn’t endure. Nor his own socks, neither her talks!

Vikram pushes for a transfer and how good it would be to forward your transfer application to your boss on your first ever meeting with a unique gift – a tender coconut neatly wrapped in a transparent polythene carry bag. At least Radha, his boss’ daughter is amused, if not impressed. She smiles, ‘So cute’ and winks at her mother. Vikram chuckles ‘It’s working!’

Ravi is also put up with Vikram at Batra’s place. It always feels great to have someone like Ravi as a friend, if not your roomie. Talk to him and struggle to match his one-liners. He is simply straightforward and so frank that you would never want to play chicken with him. Play some heavy metal and he will treat you to a Scotch. Gradually, Ravi and Vikram hit off well with each other and soon Vikram becomes Vicky, courtesy Ravi.

During their booze parties, whenever Vicky is on his special Punj high and picks up a fight with the locals, it is always Ravi who plays the referee. During once such post booze session, Vicky in his usual high, scales a coconut tree almost up to half its height. And when he realizes the vertigo he comes down only when Ravi comes to his rescue.

Radha is the guide whenever there is an outing. Backwaters, palm trees and the scenery are a treat. Ravi and Vicky always pit against each other in the boat races during Onam. Fish curry coupled with tapioca at the roadside stalls was their favourite, although sometimes Ravi would prefer uptown restaurants. This motley crew of three would have a whale of time knocking cashew fruits off trees, using catapults borrowed from the locals around. Fishing was a favorite sport for Vicky who never had seen a water body during his entire life. And even more fun were the campfire dinners they would have along the banks, cooking fish they had netted earlier during the day. The antics of Ravi added more fun but when he came down to his eerie anecdotes about witchcraft and voodoo dolls it would scare the daylights out of Radha and Vicky.

It is during many such outings that Radha and Vicky nourished a special relationship. It was a rare kind of bonhomie that they share but cannot define it. So much so that, whenever his boss would depute Vicky to find out about Radha’s prospective bridegrooms, Vicky would misreport, even when the facts would favour Radha. He would simply complain ‘He and his parents are complete jerks!’ Only Ravi knows what is going on but Vicky would not accept the fact.

Once when Vicky discovers snaps of semi nude hunks under the mattress, he is overwhelmed. Ravi declares, ‘Yes, I am a gay and I do not prefer women’. Whenever Vicky feigned reluctance for the occasional bear hug or slept on the floor even on cold nights, Ravi would nudge back ‘By the way, you are not even my kind of man!’ Eventually, Vicky accepts Ravi as he is and would detest you hard if you think Ravi is unusual.

Vicky begins to feel good about this new place and he opens up to all the situations of life. He evolves gradually and Ravi plays a huge part.

Bad and sad things come together. ‘Congrats Vicky, you’re going back’ his boss said one fine day. His transfer request is accepted. Vicky cannot believe his ears, nor can Ravi. Vicky flies back to his place, Amritsar.

Back in Amritsar, Vicky misses on the fun that he used to have within an environment of his own people. He often reminisces the good time he would have with his gang during the training days. Vicky starts to be within his orbit remaining aloof for most of the time. His level of interaction wears out and performance levels marked in red begin to show. Phone calls and e-mails don’t substitute his actual presence in Kozhikode and soon he can take it no longer. He now wants to be back again, to be with his friend Ravi, to tell Radha that he loves her more than any other girl in the world.

‘She is the best bahu you can ever get’ he tells his parents. Vicky goes back even if it means losing his job.

Later, Vicky marries Radha. Ravi is still on the look out!!


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